Pride

Pride is an explosive feeling.

We are encouraged daily to be proud, to take pride in our work, to be proud of our country, to have pride our appearance, our actions, our behaviour. Nationalism plays on our pride. It encourages us to invest in our country or sports team, or war effort. It says to be somewhere, or a citizen of some country is something to be defended and protected. Something unique, and that nobody can take from us (see various movies for references to dirty rotten scoundrels being able to take someone's money etc etc, but not their pride). We explode with pride when national teams win a sports game, when our loved ones are successful, when we complete a task that has been arduous or demanding, when we achieve that perfect look. Pride is an explosive feeling.

But that explosion is not always positive. It can be dangerous. We are also critical of others for being 'proud', or for letting their pride get in the way. It can be something that stunts our growth, stunts our ability to interact with others, and on a state level it can limit the potential for change and real action. When our pride is challenged it results in anger, aggression and the potential for a fight. The scale of this retributive feeling depends on the scale of the challenge to our pride, and the scale of our power to take action. Pride is an explosive feeling.

Pride is an explosive feeling. And explosions are always beautiful and sad to watch at the same time.

Promises, promises...

I just thought I'd take the time this morning to make clear some of the promises that our President made to us in this year's State of the Nation Address. I think that these promises (focussed on Women, Children and HIV/AIDS) are important for all of us to take note of, and it is our duty to ensure that we hold government accountable and make sure that they meet their goals.

Promise 1:

“For as long as there are women who are subjected to discrimination, exploitation and abuse; for as long as there are children who do not have the means, nor the opportunity to receive a decent education; we shall not rest, and we dare not falter, in our drive to eradicate poverty."

Promise 2:

“We will improve higher education of children from poor families and ensure a sustainable funding structure for universities."

Promise 3: "We are very concerned about reports of teachers who sexually harass and abuse children, particularly girls. We will ensure that the Guidelines on Sexual Harassment and Violence in Public Schools are widely disseminated and that learners and teachers are familiar with, and observe them. We will take very serious, and very decisive, action against teachers who abuse their authority and power by entering into sexual relationships with children."

Promise 4: "The most serious attention will also be given to combating organised crime, as well as crime against women and children."

Promise 5: "We want to reach 80% of those in need of ARV treatment also by 2011".

Promise 6: "We must work together to improve the implementation of the comprehensive plan for the Treatment, Management and Care of HIV and AIDS so as to reduce the rate of new HIV infections by 50% by the year 2011."

Many more promises were made, as they are so easy to do. What we must make sure is that these promises are translated into achievable, affordable and efficient action on the part of goverment.

Response to Lili Radloff of Women24 on her article "All rapes aren't equal".

This truly antifeminist retrogressive article can be found at http://www.women24.com/Women24/PregnancyParenting/TalkingPoint/Article/0,,1-9-34_22789,00.html if anyone would like to waste five minutes of their time.

This is my response:

The way you are thinking is entirely retrogressive.

Defining the act as rape, whether it was the headachy wife, person who went home for foreplay, or someone who is a victim/survivor of gang rape is not something that diminishes the experience of the survivor of gang rape. It is rather something that allows that woman to come together in solidarity with other women and acknowledge that this is a crime that IS NEVER acceptable. It is to acknowledge that in each of these instances, the women or men who have been forced to have unconsensual sex, have endured something that nobody should endure and have the right to fight back legally.

Suggesting things like, 'when a woman goes home with a man willingly' is playing into all the rape myths that the men raping are using. Other myths include, 'she was dressed a particular way', 'she secretly wanted it', 'she shouldn't have got drunk', 'it was a crime of passion', 'if she didn't scream or hurt it wasn't rape', 'women cry rape when they regret sex', 'rapists are mythical sexual predators', 'prostitutes or sex workers cannot be raped' - IT IS NEVER OK TO FORCE SOMEONE TO HAVE SEX.

In addition, your description of the rapist is part of the problem. You see the sinister man, waiting on the corner to strike out at his target. Yes, this does happen, but the majority of rape in South Africa occurs between two people who know each other. This is the significance of making clear that forced sex within a domestic partnership, whether marriage, or a couple, or whatever instance, is rape.

The word we use is particularly important. It must be called rape to ensure that all women and men receive the same protection from the law, and are treated with dignity and respect. Attitudes that promote the idea that one is a lesser crime than the other will only result in the persecution of rape survivors and these attitudes must be addressed.

If you remain confused there are numerous women's rights organisations, and rape support organisations, who will be happy to provide you with more information on the decisions behind the definition of rape.

Thoughts for two special friends

I received news this morning that two special friends both lost their dad's over the weekend. Both father's took their own lives, without explanation and both families grieve now for someone who cannot be returned to them. Each individual situation of suicide is different, but I just wanted to paste some numbers up here for anyone who feels like they've run out of hope for whatever reason. Or if you are someone who has been left behind, these numbers are here for you too.

Lifeline: www.lifeline.org.za
Durban:Crisis: (031) 312 2323
Office: (031) 303 1344
East London:Crisis: (043) 722 2000
Johannesburg:Crisis: (011) 728-1347, Office: (011) 728-1331
Cape Town: Crisis: (021) 461-1111, Office: (021) 461-1113

I hope that if any of you who read this know of any other numbers, you post them here so that someone might catch a glimpse, on a day when they need to.

Obama calls for a month of celebration of LGBTI people

I am just totally enamoured with Obama right now. After a worrying curve ball at the beginning of his term, when several right wing extremists proposed proposition 8, it is so pleasing to note that Obama has come through on his promises to end discrimination in the USA.

The mere acknowledgement that LGBTI groups and individuals often go unacknowledged is a huge conceptual step for the American leadership, and it is going to force some of the more conservative Americans to take stock of what they believe in. This has been a long time coming and is worthy of admiration and praise from other nations.

Back home however, there is no indication that the same group of people are met with anything but hostility, social exclusion and violence. Corrective rape (where someone rapes you to try and 'turn' you back straight) is on the increase, gay-bashing is still a reality and the social awareness of diversity is limited. Our president made clear his opinion about homosexuality, and the evidence suggests that this is an opinion shared by a large group of people.

I wonder if Obama would be proud to say his roots were in Africa, if he knew that Africa is currently a place of intolerance and violence? I think our own leaders need to recognise that their conservative and regressive perspectives need broadening, and that gender and sexual equality should no longer be a theoretical construct but should be daily practice.

The State of the Nation address was ambitious, but there were glaring abscences that have occurred time and time again. How can the crime of rape, of which South Africa has the highest rate of a country not at war, go unmentioned in the address. This country is seeing both our women and our children abused and violated, stripped of their rights and irrevocably harmed, and for this crime to be unacknowledged is itself a crime. The news this week has had startling headlines such as "10000 child prostitutes in Johannesburg" and "530 child rapes a day". To end these crimes requires leaders of the highest ranks to recognise that something is very wrong here, and that they play a huge role in helping to restore a sense of dignity to vulnerable groups.

These are groups that require us to change our thinking. To open our minds and accept others, and to celebrate them. We are such a diverse country, and I hope that 2009 brings a celebration of this diversity, rather than a hardening of minds and hearts.